Love is perhaps the most profound of all emotions. According to the “Book of Miracles’ it is the one true emotion, all positive emotions derive from love.
All negative emotions are forms of fear. Love is the one true emotion because fear is an illusion. The only power in fear is the power we give it over us. Once confronted it disappears.
Love is a basic necessity in everyone’s life. Without it, we would be physically and psychologically maladjusted.
“When emotional deprivation and lack of love occur, physical growth slows down or stops. The body enters into a survival mode where vital, basic physiological functions are preserved at the cost of physical, mental, and social development. The longer the child is in survival mode, the more permanent and negative the effects will be. Once a child is adopted and the amount of love, care, and stimulation increases, the body ceases to be in survival mode and will start recuperating.” The Conversation.
The brain changes triggered by love certainly affect our mood and behavior. The neurotransmitters and hormones associated with attraction, sex and love are oxytocin, dopamine, norepinephrine, vasopressin and testosterone.
Love apparently affects the immune system. A 2019 study found that falling in love results in immune system changes similar to protective viral infection responses.
Love seems to help safeguard against cancer, according to a 2021 study. It found tissue from pair-bonded mice was less likely to grow tumors than tissue from mice with disruptions to their pair bonds.
Research from 2010 also suggests people who are romantically in love enjoy lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. They are less stressed. Love assists in pain relief, and lower blood pressure.
Researchers say that a sure-fire cure for depression is romantic love. The neuro hormones blow depression out of the water.
“They have shown us that those couples who have happy, intimate marriages and are in love live on average, 10 years longer than those who are not in relationships.” The Studies on Love and Longevity
Love is wonderful, it is madness. It is a form of obsessive-compulsive behavior.
When we first romantically fall in love with someone, it’s normal for them to be the focus of everything on our mind. We think of them constantly. (There is no place for depression) Over time this thought/feeling subsides as the neurotransmitters in the brain fade. Hopefully our love is requited (returned), and it develops into something saner and more long term for both (in more or less equal and balanced measure).
If the subject of our emotions does not return those love feelings to us, we tend to fall into depression. There we experience rejection, self-loathing, unhappiness etc.
Some individuals crave the euphoric feelings of infatuation and the early pangs of love. Thats all they want – nothing more, nothing deeper. So, their cravings lead to an addiction. They seek other people to fall in love with in an idealized romantic attachment, until the neuro hormones begin to fade. Then they abruptly move on to another (victim). They lack commitment. Perhaps they fear commitment? If this is you get help.
Scientists‘ from Aalto University in Finland used magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure brain activity, while they induced feelings of love in volunteers using short stories. They investigated the neural activity during feelings of love for six different types of objects: romantic partners, one’s own children, friends, strangers (varieties of interpersonal love), nonhuman pets (interspecies love), and nature (nonsocial love).
The results found that love for their children induced the most amount of brain activity, followed by romantic love.
Yet love is such a difficult thing to define. It is perhaps the most misunderstood and confused word in the English language. What is love?
American psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg theorizes that love is based on three domains:
- intimacy (emotional)
- commitment (cognitive)
- passion (physical)
Each domain represents a triangle corner in Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. I like it.
The seven kinds of love in Sternberg’s triangular theory cover a range of relationship types, created by which domains are involved.
- Liking. Friendship You share emotional intimacy, but there’s no physical passion or commitment.
- Infatuation. ‘Puppy Love’ Passion is the key ingredient. You are physically attracted to another, but you have not developed the emotional intimacy or established a commitment. Infatuation can and often leads to something more. but more often it fades.
- Empty Love is a committed relationship that lacks passion or intimacy.
- Romantic Love. Romantically involved, sharing physical passion and emotional intimacy, but no commitment.
- Companionate Love. Committed and emotionally bonded, such as best friends or family. Marriages with no passion.
- Fatuous. You have been swept off your feet. Perhaps all the way, powered by passion, into an engagement or marriage without any emotional intimacy.
- Consummate Love. Consummate love is the ultimate goal through spousal partnerships and marriage. Ideally it includes balanced commitment, passion, and emotional intimacy. The one true love between two people.
One way to achieve this is through committed Tantric – Sexual Wellness training with your partner.
When is the ‘right time’ to have sex for the ‘first time’ with your partner? Some say, ‘on the third date’ with reference to something said in the TV series ‘Sex in the City’. Some long-term couples say they had sex together on their first date together. Sometimes they say ‘something happened’ as they were chatting, they had ‘a connection’, and they just knew it was right. Some say they won’t have sex until they are officially engaged or even married – no matter what they feel. Who is right, and who is wrong? They all are right! Just as long as it is consensual, not pressured. You certainly do not have to have sex because of something said in a TV show! Or, because you were drunk on alcohol or stoned on illicit drugs and do not remember anything that happened! That will more often lead to regret next morning.
There are some basic ‘rules’ to achieving and maintaining a deep romantic loving relationship with another person. These include (in no particular order);
1. Never rush into a romantic relationship. Never force it, let it grow. at its own pace Give it space to become Consummate Love. Never expect the other person to live up to your expectations. It is not a competition. Accept that your love interest cannot give you attention 24/7. If you cannot do that get help.
2. Jealousy has no place in a loving relationship. The emotions that build include trust and acceptance. Jealousy sparked by love can suggest you have a strong commitment to your partner and don’t want to lose them. However, jealousy is born from your own insecurities. Never snoop on their privacy. (Social media is in the public arena, so checking his or her social media accounts is not snooping). If you feel jealous discuss it with your partner.
3. Love means doing things together yet giving each other space to pursue individual interests too. It is sharing without resentment.
4. Love is a risk. Everything worthwhile is a risk, including personal relationships. Are you brave enough to let yourself commit to another person unconditionally?
5. Love is not controlling, changing, or manipulating another person. If you feel a need to do those things – you are in the wrong relationship.
6. Your Consummate lover should be your best friend to the exclusion of all others. Do you keep secrets from your partner but share them with someone else? So, love includes trust. Without trust – you are in the wrong relationship.
7. Consummate Love is being open and honest with your partner. Keep secrets between you and your partner. Prove you can be trusted. People outside the relationship do not need to know the details.
8. Love should involve some level of mutual compromise and sacrifice with your partner. If they are doing all the taking while you are doing all the giving. If your partner refuses to compromise, even after talking to them about it, then you are in the wrong relationship.
9. How to restore passion in your relationship? This and more relevant research and information is discussed in this article in the Psychology Today magazine.
10. If you are having difficulties within your relationship the person to talk about it with is your partner. It is about effective interpersonal communication, both ways. Thats what Marriage Counsellors are about –
11. Love is accepting we are all different and we have different opinions. So, it includes mutual respect.
12. No one is perfect. We all have imperfections – including yourself. So, love includes acceptance of yourself and your partner. Warts and all.
13. A great marriage takes effort from both partners to commit to each other. If one is not in the relationship, then there is no relationship.
14. Ultimately, love is about accepting the other person for who they are. For better or worse. For richer or poor.er In sickness and in health. If you are not prepared for that, you are in the wrong relationship. So, love includes being unconditional.
15. ‘Lust’ is not love. Although Consummate Love often starts with lust and overtime develops into something more. However, lust can also develop into …. hate! We all know a couple who met and enjoyed a passionate whirlwind ‘romance’. Perhaps a baby was born, and it all became too much hard work. Then what they had together burnt out and died (typically somewhere between 6 and 24 months). The lust filled relationship – not the baby of course. They had the passion but no commitment. Then the passion died, and they had nothing.
16. The introduction of children into a relationship change the dynamics forever. What was before the birth of the first child is gone, with perhaps fleeting moments from time-to-time. A couple who have love can adapt and change with the circumstances.
17. When you have those important talks you can both have a ‘special word’ that means turn off the phone we need to talk. Stop everything and actively listen. Aim to listen at least 50 per cent of the conversation by silencing the self-talk in your head and listening. Then ask intelligent questions to clarify and understand what your partner is communicating. Look into your partners eyes – very important as you listen.
18. Physical, non-sexual, touch. Hugs caresses. whispers. Time alone. A favorite tune? Long walks on the beach together? Which of these are your ‘love language’? Do you have others?
19. Never forget the little things you used to do for your partner – and do them again. Fresh flowers? A favorite home cooked meal? A special song? Her favorite perfume? Make time for each other – if only a few minutes.
20. You are never too busy to say “I love you” every day with a gentle kiss.
Always ask your partner about their day. Listen and share.
“You get all the love you think you deserve. You deserve it all. But you need to work on it together.”
If you have trouble finding someone who can love you, maybe you should be looking at yourself. Do you have a deep self-belief that you ‘do not deserve love’, or perhaps you believe you ‘do not deserve happiness’? If this rings true for you get help.
There are many kinds of love, but the inter-personal love of a romantic relationship with a compatible partner begins with learning how to be loving through the inter-personal love between a mother and child.
It is vital that a mother loves her child so that child feels secure and develops the foundations of a healthy self-esteem. The joys and the pain, because it is through those that we learn and grow the most.
Children need to feel love and to feel wanted. Children need to learn about balanced commitment, passion, and emotional intimacy from their primary role models. I don’t think it matters if the parents are heterosexual or lesbian or homosexual as long as they have balanced commitment, passion, and emotional intimacy for each other. and their children witness and enjoy unconditional love.
Now that I have 20/20 vision about my own marriage, I realise I/we would have benefited by asking a series of probing questions on our first and second dates. These could be revealing questions on a first date for anyone.
- Q. Tell me about your parents and siblings?
- Q. Who is your best friend, that you share all your secrets with?
- Q. What items are at the top of your bucket list?
- Q. If you inherited a fortune tomorrow what would be the first things you would do with it?
- Q. What is your dream job?
- Q. What do you do for charity, for other people, without expectation of anything in return?
- Q. How do you feel about having children?
- Q. Are you prepared to sacrifice your own wants and desires (your bucket list) for your relationship. and for your future children?
- Q. If they made a movie about you, who would you choose to play the role of you?
- Q. If they made a movie about your life who would you choose to play the role of your leading man/lady?
- Q. What is your language of love?
- Q. What is your hidden talent?
- Q. What is your hidden addiction?
- Q. What did you do with your spare time during the pandemic?
- Q. Have you had a relationship (or an affair) with a married person? (Are you currently married?)
- Q. Why did you come on this date with me? What/who are you looking for and why?
Of course, you must be prepared to answer these same questions truthfully in return.
Synonyms of the word love include; acceptance and affection and appreciation and commitment and devotion and emotion and fondness and friendship’s and infatuation and lust and passion. Also tenderness and trust and adulation and , allegiance and attachment and cherishing and delight and devoted and enjoyment and fidelity and involvement and like and rapture and regard and worship.
The image above shows the same bike as the previous image, yet the loving couple now hidden (subliminal) – have arrived and inside the Grand Secret Bookshop of Hidden Knowledge? Come inside …
The Welcome Love subliminal messages and others are simply ‘hidden’ from the conscious mind within pleasant masking music and relaxing environmental sounds to prevent conscious analytical thinking, which may ‘filter out’ messages.
People who feel they have love in their lives also feel self-fulfillment and self-love. The first step toward finding love is changing one’s own self-talk. Even if that self-talk means ‘faking it until you make it’, so that you can create your own new self-beliefs.
Another simpler way is to listen to the Welcome Love MP3 often.
Our unconscious mind gathers information to create beliefs. These beliefs drive our behaviors and emotions too. Our unconscious mind is the ‘foreman’ of the metabolism. So, we can create unconscious emotions and beliefs to Welcome Love.
PRIME HYPNOSIS MP3’s incorporating these affirmations, following a Classic hypnotic induction with professional hypnotherapists Peter Zapfella and Coral Conrad will be added to the line-up
All of the ‘Welcome Love’ MP3’s are available individually or bundled together and discounted by 50 per cent.
They are; (1) Environmental ‘Gentle lake waves’ (2) Pleasant ‘guitar and piano’ music (3) ‘Zumba’ style Latin dance music and (4) seXXX binaural waves. Bundled discount price is $19.98. So you save $19.98
Rhythmic, rhyming Rap speaks to the ‘street culture’ across different genders, ages, languages, nationalities, races and religions. They may not understand or trust ‘therapy’, and ‘hypnosis’. But they do understand Rap. In time, these therapeutic Hipno Hop Raps become new deep unconscious beliefs leading to new positive behaviors and emotions. They are hypnotically powerful.